Doubt

I have OCD and depression. It’s summer, so they’re fairly under control and I’m doing well. But in winter it’s pretty bad, and until recently I wasn’t all that well no matter the time of year. I’m past the worst of it, but before that and after it I still worried about if I was any good as a writer. Regular old self-doubt and low self-esteem. I didn’t know if there was a point to my writing. I didn’t think myself that good at it, or thought that anyone would like it if I did manage to finish anything. Larkspur took me two years to write. It’s a 15K novelette… and for a year and a half all I had was 5K. The ballroom scene, and the latter bedroom one. I added, took away, rewrote.. I wanted it perfect. Eventually I gave myself a hard deadline and forced myself to finish. It took another month after publication to catch all the small errors, and make the cover nice and professional, but I finally did it.

And people like it.

I got my 15th review on amazon.com tonight. Another 5 star. Another stranger who likes my work. That’s not even taking into account goodreads, and the other country amazons.

Most of these are strangers. At the very closest random internet friends. No family, or real-life buddies..  random people think my work has worth. They want to read the next story. I have 21 people at the Delphinium Release party.

I can’t believe how lucky I am that this is falling into place. My silly childhood dream is coming true.

Writing and working on Delphinium right now, I have time and music and tea. And I’m smiling and happy because I know I’m alright. I don’t have to doubt and fret. It’s a really nice feeling.

Worlds

Yesterday was Larkspur’s last day in Kindle Select. I made the last two days give-aways and had 430 copies taken up by folk on the internets. Hope a few end up leaving reviews ❤

It’s been 90 days since I published Larkspur. Sold 138 copies, and gave away over a thousand. It’s been sent through Draft2Digital, though it seems to take Nook/Kobo and those lot longer to get stuff up than Amazon. I’ll write another post when it’s live.

Delphinium is taking a few twists and I’m having to change a few scenes here and there. The more I write, the more.. different it gets in a few ways. I’m trying not to make the same mistake as with Larkspur and rush it, so I’m letting this play out. Much more to do with Italaviana, and the inter-realm politics, but it should settle back to just being about necrocræft for a book or two after. It is fairly full circle since in the first versions of these stories, Pierre and company were vampires (as well as necrocræft users. Well, back then it was Black Magic and Forbidden Magic). You’ll meet a new character from Italaviana, Silas, who has his own set of stories that take place a few hundred years before the Larkspur series.

I’m also starting to think about what the next series I want to be writing will be. It should be better to have two or three realms engaged at one time so I don’t end up bored with one set, and so people get used to a lot of different places. I don’t want to be that author who has one series everyone likes, but everything else they do is ignored because it just isn’t that first one. I love Clandestina, and I’m very proud of the necrocræft magical system, but there’s so much more I just want to write about- wizards, dreamers, werewolves, ringian, unicorns, magicians… Noctuina is a conglomerate of so many countries and kingdoms and worlds, they all deserve to be noticed. I’m hoping that since they are all take place in the same universe and occasionally interact, this won’t be as difficult as if they were different universes entirely.

I’m thinking Ibella. Also Italy inspired, it’s near Italaviana. The magic of the realm comes from it being connected to the planes of dreams and nightmares. Political issues arise when the ruling powers in Reality are threatened that some of their citizens hold allegiance to other royals in different planes. Those that can enter the realm of dreams or nightmares are being taken and imprisoned. Dreams and Nightmares also have problems with each other.